telling about yourself

Okay how many of you when you are asked to write about yourself had a difficult time?  I have been asked to write something that will be published in a local publication in which I will be featured.  I kept drawing a blank as I was writing it.  I know I do a lot in the community and do volunteer for a lot of things.  But to have to put it to paper or to a screen is difficult.  I have always done things not so much for how it will appear but rather to give to others.  I know a lot of people who will do things or volunteer to do things so they could get a plaque for their wall or a picture in the paper.  That has never been my way of looking at things.  If I get praise for what I do it is cool if i don't who cares. 

So what you think?

It gets Better

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. -- Winston Churchill
I know I have not posted a blog in a long time I want to get back to doing it a regular bases.  Life for me has taken some interesting turns.  If you have been following me on facebook you have seen how it has gone.  I have to say I am the happiest I have been in so long.

On Youtube there is a page I have been checking out on a regular bases.  It is called it "It gets better" Project.  It is in response to the recent suicides of gay teens.  First off I am saddened by the death of these talented young people.  The world has lost their potential contributions to society.  I hope their family and friends can find peace.

It has made me think of my own growing up.  It has reminded me of how difficult it was to grow up and to feel there was no one out there who knew what it was like to be me.  I grew up the oldest grandchild and the oldest child in my family.  I was envious of my younger family members because they had someone they could look up to whether it was me or one of my cousins.  The other kids around were older than me and many felt they could knock me around and tease me.  Sadly know in my family ever knew about it and how painful it was.  The teasing went on in school as well and it forced me to keep to just a couple of friends.  When the school I was going to closed they went to other schools and left me alone.  While I have always been in active in high school and college I tended to be a person who was very much to myself.

I am grateful to the brothers of my fraternity who showed me that I was worth something.  To this day some of them are the closest friends I have in the world.  They accepted me as goofy as I was and as naive as I was.  They were there to support me in each of my major decisions of my life and without question have shown me that life is worth every moment.  Thanks to those guys I could not have asked for better friends and brothers.

To those who might find this blog and are struggling with whatever life had thrown your way I say life does get better.  I approach each new challenge in my life with that attitude that life gets better and life is worth the living.  Life only gets better day by day and year by year.  I am so thankful for having found someone who makes me happy on a daily bases.  I choose to life each day with him in my life because it brings greater fullfillment.

To those who choose to disagree with me that is your choice.  We all have choices in our life and we can choose to disagree with someone.  What we don't have a right to do is bring pain and hurt to someone else s life.  Forcing our personal values on others is not right and is hateful.  While a group may agree on certain values to believe it doesn't mean that those values are correct or right.  So choose to live your life your way and leave others to live their lives their way.

Bottom line is that life gets better my friends and I can't wait for the next chapter to begin.

Is your life as bad as others?

I was introduced to a site called Fmylife.com.  It is really funny things that happen to people and they have posted it on this site.  Here is one as an example.

"Today, I had to confront my boyfriend after finding a girl's phone number next to my bed. He said I was over reacting. When I told him it was over, he asked for the number back so he could call her." FML

I found this one and others to be funny as they are true.  There is the one where someone's dad called them the dogs name and it wasn't the first time.  Some you wonder what people are doing.  I know that sometimes I can get so focused on my own life and how stressed I can be and how crazy things life is.  I go to this site and I find that my life is not that bad.   As we travel the road of life we find that it takes different turns and we didn't expect and sometimes they can bring us to a new realization or okay maybe more pain.  Here is another example from the FML.

Today, my dad threw my $300 dollar iTouch out the window. Apparently the alarm went off and he didn't know how to turn it off. It was his solution. FML

So when you see something dumb in your mind next time remember there are crazier things in the world and a laugh is sometimes the best medicine.

Old Technology

I love movies and so when I see movies for sale cheap I of course check them out.  Today I was at the store with a friend and they had a bin with movies for $5.00 each.  Well I was looking through and found first season of 21 Jump Street.

Now for those of you who are not familiar with this series it was made in the 1970s.  Johnny Depp was one of the starts and was when people started noticed him.  Now what is funny is to watch what they thought was technology.  They needed to go to a pay phone to make a call as cell phones were not around at the time.  The cars that they were thinking were the best cars.  I also was watching another movie where flip phones were the in thing for the time.

It makes me think a little bit about how technology has changed our lives.  I can remember when cell phones were a brick and there was no way that it would have fit in pocket.  There is also the technology when it comes to music.  We begin with vinyl albums and 45 LPM.  There was 8 track tapes and they were the thing and players were everywhere.  Now they don't exist well none that I have seen.  Then came cassette tapes and now you don't find them anymore.  Then there was CD's and those are still around.  What is even scarier is if you went and asked a high school kid what some of these methods of listening to music they will look at you and say never heard of it or that is old school. 

What are some of the other things has technolgy changed?

Bars

Last night I was in the mood to go out.  Now that is unusal as I don't particularly care for bars/clubs.  Now don't get me wrong I do like to go with friends ocassionaly.  Last night I went with a friend I had not hung out with a long time.  As I was driving I did not drink.  The bars/clubs are 40 miles from where i am at. 
So needless to I was sobber.  Being sobber I spent a lot of the night observing people.  It is interesting how a lot of people at the bars/clubs seem to be focused on getting drunk.  I ended up with beer from the pitchers in peoples hands on the dance floor.  I don't know about you I am not much for wearing beer.  I also looked around I could see how for some it seems that the bar/club seems to be their only socail outlet.  I know I have talked with some who will go to the club every weekend to the bars/clubs.  They will go two and three days on the weekend. 
Now I would say that bars/clubs are not the ideal place to meet someone for a dating relationship.  Now I am sure there are some out there who have met their significant other at bars.  But how often does that happen and how often does it last?  I don't know about you but I like to talk to the person I am dating and get to know who they are and what they are about.
I also would have to say that for a lot of people at the bar they can be very self absorbed.  Getting back to the fact I ended up with beer on my legs with no acknowlegement of what they did says they didn't care.  I meet a lot of people at the bars if you don't meet their standards they will not be civil.  Case in point I was introduced to a friend of a friend last night and after we were introduced he procced to cut me out of the conversations and physically placed himself so as to cut me out of the converstation.  Now as I mentioned I was sober and it made me wonder about others and as I watched others I could see the same thing occuring around the bar/club.  I don't know it is my observation. 

What can happen at the Gym

This afternoon I went to the gym for my daily workout.  Generally when I go to the gym I put my headphones on and go about my business of working out.  Occasionally I will run into a friend or two that works out there.  Needless to say nothing every happens.  Today was an exception to the rule.  I was down to my last exercise when suddenly I see a commotion a few feet away from where I was.  It turned out that a young guy I am talking about a teenager had fainted.  Then it got scary the kid stopped breathing.  The staff and others began to do compressions and mouth to mouth.  They paramedics and ambulance did get there and they did get him breathing again and I found that the kid had an enlarged heart and the doctors had never told his parents. 

I am glad the kid will be okay.  Here is the thing I was not sure what I should be doing.  There were lots of people with the kid and his mom who happened to be there.  Some people around the gym were standing around and watching everything.  Some people were continuing with their workout.  I moved a couple of pieces of equipment for them to have room to bring the equipment in.  I also watched and I also finished my workout.  So what do you think I or anyone who was not helping should have done?

There are good people

I had a rather interesting experience so to speak this weekend.  I was traveled up to Albuquerque for a family function and yes it was a fun and I had fun.  That is not what was interesting.  I was traveling to a family members home and my car died.  It was right in the middle of a busy area.  It would not start and I had to push it out of the road.  I started to do it and two guys jumped out of their cars and helped me push it out of the way.  That was really cool and to those strangers I am thankful for their help.  Well that is not the end.  One of the gentlemen was in an SUV with a woman.  That woman while we were pushing the car drove across the street to the service station and bought a big bottle of water and brought it over to use so that we had water while we waited for the tow truck.  Now that was something nice and thanks to that woman for doing that.  Now if that is all that happened you would say wow.  But yet another truck with a young couple stopped to see if we needed some help as well. 


I would have to say that despite what we hear in the news that people are not helpful or friendly these days I would say that is not the case.  To those people who helped me out know I will be paying it forward I think that is the best thing I can do.  Who else has something to pay forward.?

What we have won in regards to rights

I had a very interesting experience tonight that made me reflect on where the world has come.  I went out tonight with my two roommates for frozen custard.  Okay now before you get all high and mights the frozen custard is not the great realization I had come to.  Let me give you a little background on our little household configuration.  I am a Hispanic single gay man in my forty's.  My one roommate is a straight white male engaged to be married in his twenties.  The last roommate is an African-American female divorced from a man and a lesbian.   Oh and there are two dogs both 3 years old in they house as well.

Now at first glance the reaction from some would be oh so what no big deal.  But look at where we have come by looking where we have been.  Prior to the 60's and the civil rights movement my male roommate and I riding in a car with an African-American woman would have drawn some less than kind comments.  She would not have been able to order with us and would have been told to use a different  counter.  As a Hispanic man I would have gotten less that great service as well. Our White roommate would have been served and only would have received comments about being with non-white people. 

Prior to the Stonewall riots of New York both my lesbian roommate and I would have been fearful of being arrested or even beaten for our sexual preference.  Because of some brave drag queens at the Stonewall bar in New York do we have the ability to be open about who we are.  Now that is not to say that it is safe to be open about our sexuality.  In some parts of this country there are some who feel it is okay to beat up a gay man or a lesbian woman.  There are places in this world where some feel it is right to keep rights away from men and women because of their sexuality.  June traditionally is the month when communities across the country and around the world celebrate gay pride.  It is not just a time to party, which can be lots of fun, but a time to celebrate the rights we have won thus far.  It is also a time to reflect and see what fights are ahead of all of use. 

We as a society have come a long way in securing rights for human beings in this country and other places.  However, we still have a long ways to go.  I am glad that events in the past have lead to a time I can have the roommates and friends I have of different colors, ethnic backgrounds, and sexual identity.  I am a far richer person and hopefully it helps me make a difference in this great world of ours.

Smoking

Now I will first say at the beginning of the blog that I respect others rights to do things but where is the line.  This passed week I had an experience that made me think.  I was coming up to a traffic light and someone in a car next to me flicks out a cigarette butt that hit my car.  Now it did not do any damage to the car but made me think why is it that some people have no respect for others.

That smoker in the car next to me did not apologize nor did he care.  I have seen smokers in the past complain that they should have a right to smoke wherever.  What about my right to have clean streets and sidewalks?  What about my right for it to be smoke free around me? Granted I don't smoke but I sill feel that everyone needs to be conscious more often of how our behavior effects others.  The more we respect others the more the world will be a better place.

Have a drink

When Life Gives You Lemons. . Grab The Salt And Tequila. . The World Has Enough Lemonade!

A friend  posted this on a page recently.  I know that sometimes life can get us down and can overcome us.  However, we can choose how to deal with life.  We can let it get us down and control our lives and not move on.  We can say oh well and move on and overcome what comes our way.  How we approach it says a lot about who we are.  I know for me I don't want life to get me down because if I let it get me down does no good for me.  Now I don't advocate using alcohol to deal with the problems in life.

Who cares about someone's personal life

It is interesting how people are so focused on gossip and other people's lives.  There are all kinds of places on the internet where you can find postings speculating who is dating who.  Or who is gay and going to come out.  My comment to that is who cares?  Who cares if some star is dating another star?  Does that effect my quality of life?  Does whether or not someone is gay going to change how I live my life? 

Truth is that a person's sexuality or dating history is their own life.  It effects how they live their life and how they interact with the world.  It guides what they do and who they hang with.  I know that in my own life there have been times when people have speculated on my life.  What ended up happening is creating a great deal of problems for me.  In the end they did not bother to say they were sorry for meddling and causing problems. 

I know for me it doesn't matter if some star is dating some other star.  I don't care if some professional athlete is going out with some model.  I don't care if some musician is gay or not.  Why do some people feel we need to know about others personal life.  We need to begin to say privacy is important and that every person has a right to live their life with some privacy.

We live in a country that says that everyone has a right to this or that.  What about the right to have privacy?

The Wise Man

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.- Immanuel Kant 

I have heard people say that wisdom comes with age.  That the more years you have lived the wiser you are.  The assumption is that experience leads to wisdom.  I would challenge that thought in that I know some older people who are far from wise.  I would say that wisdom comes from taking our experiences and converting them into those learned experiences that form our life.  It is when we allow them to change and mold us that we become wiser people.  

I would also say that wisdom comes from pondering what experience and life bring us.  I think a wise person is one that opens their minds to the greater world.  In saying this it would a child who would have the greatest potential to be wise.  Children when they are young are the most open to learn new things and experience more of the world. It is when adults begin to limit those boundaries that the potential is lost.  Therefore, when adults open their minds like a child and explore the world do they become wise.  

While knowledge is important to becoming wise it does not mean that a person will become wise by getting multiple degrees or reading lots of books.  For knowledge does not equal wisdom and wisdom does not equal knowledge.  Now I am not saying that we should give up on studying and learn all that we can.  What I am saying is that learn and be open to whatever the world has to offer.

Romance

The act of romance brings out the best in humans and the worst in man.

A friend of mine posted this tonight on his page and loved what it has to say. I am not sure where found it but it is awesome. I am a hopeless romantic always have been. I love to romance and be romanced. I love to bring the flowers and the candlelight dinners. I love holding that special someone and watching the sun go down. Winter times sitting in front of fire with a glass of wine and that special someone. Okay I could go on and on about romance.

Sadly in today's society I think that romance is a dying art. Fewer and fewer people get into romance. Think about it if we really romanced that special someone then we would really get to know someone. I have met some people that see romance as foreplay to sex and they use it to get into someone's bed. Romance yes can led to sex I will agree with that but it doesn't have to led to sex. For others sex equals romance and they are interchangeable. What happened to pulling a chair out and holding a door and bringing flowers and expressing romance in the world?

I wonder if romance will continue. With speed dating and internet hook ups and online personals. As we become more technological advanced I think that romance has become a victim of advance. I would love to hear what people think about romance.

Porn vs Love

Okay now that I have you excited from the title. I subscribe to a number of magazines. Today I got one of my fitness magazines and it was an article about the ratio of single men. Two of the things the article said was interesting.

One was that the city with the most sex. Now I am not sure how they figure that out. I guess they had cameras in everyone's bedroom. LOL well it said that in Houston people are having sex 88 days out of the year. That comes down to about 7.5 days a month. Now I am not sure if I would say a lot. Well I guess if you are single and don't have someone that could be lot. I kind of wonder what people consider a lot of sex.

The other thing the article says is that the place with the most people subscribing to Porn is Salt Lake City. Again I kind of wonder how they know that item and what they define as porn. I kind of wonder why so many people in one place would have to or want to subscribe to Porn.

I guess the final thing I found interesting was why would a fitness magazine would feel they would need to write an article like this and not stay focused on fitness and exercise.

What is a Steward?

I know it has been a long time since I posted something. This evening I was watching a Documentary on National Parks. It is interesting to hear how human beings at times have cared little for what can never been replaced. They talked about he pot hunters and others destroyed some of the history of our country. While places like Chaco Canyon have been looted it is not the only place in the world that it has happened. Look to the Middle East as well.

I have had the pleasure in my life to visit some of the National Parks in the this country. It is amazing to see the beauty and power of some the the oldest national parks. I have also seen how those who careless go and leave trash and other things behind. I think the measure of what and who we are is how we are stewards of what is around us. I have not idea what a Carrier Pigeon looks like other than a picture because others before me cared little for what they were destroying. How many time have you gone for a drive in the mountains and someone has carved initials into a tree or painted them on a rock.

Now I know I won't be around forever but I would like to think that someone somewhere would be grateful for me leaving them a place to enjoy and learn from in the future. This week I bought a new car and I actually tried to think green. It is my way of leaving things better around me.

What does color or gender mean?

I think that it is a powerful comment. How many times do I hear comments from others that they know what it is like to be Hispanic and they are not Hispanic. I have heard straight people say they don’t understand gay people. Well of course they don’t understand them because they see the world through heterosexual eyes while gay people see the world through the gay eyes.
I see the world through Hispanic eyes and I say Hispanic because that is what I choose. I don’t choose Latino or Chicano or any other term. I know that I have been told in the past I have been told that I am Latino but I don’t see it that way. Just because my skin is a certain color doesn’t mean that I am the label that someone says I should be.
Okay so what does that have to do with the beginning of this blog. Any time someone who is not of the particular ethic group or other marginalized group says they know what that particular group feels they don’t. They might understand it through their mind but they truly don’t know what it is like to be Gay, African-American, Hispanic, Latino, Lesbian, Native American, or any other group. We need to respect them in the end.

Wasting time

"No life is a waste, the Blue Man said. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone."

from

The Five People you will Meet in Heaven

How many times have you heard people complain about being alone. How often do we fail to see how precious life is around us. How often do we look to those around us to help us find the joys of life. Life is meant to be lived and we are called to live it to the fullest. If we want to truly find the unquiness of life we need to not worry about being alone. We need to understand that our lives and the lives of others are special and need to be celebrated. How often to we see how each person is special and how their life adds to our life. Our time and life are precious so lets not navel gaze and look out into the world at the greatness of all.

People fall down

"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times."

I think that this is so true since we all fall in our lives. No one in this life is perfect. I am close though. LOL Not I know I need to work on things and I work on them. Part of life is accepting that we fall and we need to get up. Sadly a lot people see people fall and keep pushing them down instead of letting them get up. For me to grow I need to get up and move forward. What happens when you fall? Do you get up or do you stay down? Do you keep people down or you let them get up?

To love another

"Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, loves dries on the surface and must be nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive." The Five People you Meet in Heaven

This is a great quote from a great book. It is true that love can come showering down on us when we are in love. But alot of times we forget that the roots of our love needs to be watered. We forget that the world can dry up the love we have for others by the pressures placed on our relationships. 

For some people they think that love has to be a certian way or a certian place. How often does love really follow the rules? I don't remember seeing a rule book in the bookstore for love.  Who said we had to follow certian rules to love another person? Who says my rules have to be the same as yours for loving a person? I know that the way I love others is very different from the person next to me.  The people I love will be different as well. 

One of my favorite songs from the musical Les Miserables says, "to love another person is to see the face of God." Love is so much bigger than you or me.  Love also does have a certain body type or certain people  Every person has the capacity to love other people but they have to choose to love.  When we truly love someone we can see the face of God and fill our lives with more than we can imagine.

We are a collection of dots

One of my favorite movies has a line that says that life is like a series a dots all connected. Well it may not be the exact quote but I hope you get the point. How very true is this statement. While each of us is responsible for our own happiness whether we have a significant other in our lives or not. While we may have someone in our lives it is up to us to make ourselves happy. And how happy I make me has an effect on yours and the next person's happiness. Think about it how often do you say something like, "man he/she is bring me down or making me depressed." Which brings me to what prompted this ranting today. I was watching a show on tv about the gay marriage debate back east. What was sad to see is that some of the people they showed on the show seemed to care really for themselves and did not care how happy or content others were around them. They seemed to care only that their vision of the world be put forth. How disconnected is that? While each of us supports and adds to each others happiness it does not mean that each of us has to be happy in the same way. Why can't people understand that point. Why is it that who we choose to be happy with has to matter to my next door neighbor or the guy down the street. Why can't we just let people live their lives with whoever they want. So long as people are not killing others or hurting others why does it matter who they choose as their significant other.

Hatred is not a family value

We learn a lot from our parents and other relatives. We learn our family heritage and where we have been. Sometimes that is not necessaryly a good thing. Some things in our past we could be ashamed of because of injustices some in our family have done. The good thing is that as we learn about those injustices we don't have to relive them in our lives. However, some choose not to learn from the past and choose to continue to live those injustices in the present. Where it is hatred or violence or whatever it could be it can be changed. It takes more guts to step into the unknown than to stay in a cycle that is not healthy. How often to we have the chance to change the future in a postive way and we choose not to because we are afraid of what others will think or we are afraid of what might happen. We do not have to teach the next generation the evils of this world if we choose to teach them what is right and respectful.

What is love?

What is Love?

Love is one word in todays society thatis so over used. We use love to describe things from food to people. English unlike greek does not clearly define what love is about. The greeks had three words for love. One word EROS which focus on the carnal love the physical love. It is the erotic love that is expressed. There is AGAPE which is love for those who are important in out lives. The love we have for sibblings and friends and relatives. The other word for love is PHILIO this love is love for our fellow men and women. For people in general. Which ever love we express it is important that we express true love.

Sadly many people don't understand what love is about. For them the physical contact with people is all that love is about. They feel that emotions have nothing to do with love. That whether or not they can have physical contact is whether or not they can express love. I have heard many say that sex equals love. I disagree in that love leads to sexual expression. And yes there are some who use sex for recreation and that is not love.

Many of these people feel that sex will lead to love rather than love leading to sex. When it comes to loving others who are not their sexual partner many fall short in this area. They are afraid to tell someone they love them because they may get it wrong. If a man was to tell another man he loved him they are afraid to be called gay. However, for a woman tell a woman she loves her that is not necessaryly the case. How often do people tell their relatives that they love them. Some would say that their relatives will think they are up to something. How do you use love in your life?

What governs your decisions?

Every day we have to make choices that effect our lives. Now not every choice will have a major impact on our lives. Some simple choices such as whether to eat hamburger or a chicken sandwich is simple. Those choices may not have major effects on our lives but will effect our lives. Then there are the choices like our jobs or places to live. These choices are governed by outside circumstances as well as those things we think are important. For some it is their religious beliefs that govern how they make these decisions. Still others use other means to govern their decisions. I have heard some say that make decisions by asking what is best for me. They make decisions that are only important for themselves. They don't care about other only for themselves. So when you make decisions who do you take into account?

Where is the truth?

  "Truth is over rated" I have heard may people say. Truth is not overrated it is one thing that gets abused in today's society. When we ask politicians to tell the truth they find ways of changing it so they can say they told the truth but it is far from the truth. When it comes to dating the same thing happens. We ask the person we are dating to tell the truth and they find ways to tell what they consider to be the truth in a creative way. Why can't we tell the truth? Is it that we are afraid of someone's reaction to that truth? If that is the case why does that matter? If we don't know how to tell the truth. Then we can change our behavior no one is to old to change who they are. Truth is not overrated it is the way we should live our lives. Why can't we all be honest?

What does that mean?

Every so often some new fad comes along and everyone jumps on. A few years ago it was ribbons for different causes. Each cause had a different color. Now it is rubber band on the wrists. Yellow for the cancer, red for AIDS, blue for bone marrow, green for organ transplant, etc. It is great that people want to show their support for the different causes. I support causes of different kinds for different reasons. But is showing our support for causes by wearing something should not be the end. How many times have you said that someone needs to do something but you don't do something. We all have the potential to be good in this world.  However, we tend to be passive in our support for causes. Whether it has to do with politics or medical issues we need to be more verbal and we need to be more proactive in what we do and say.

Why are we attracted to who we are attracted too?

Human attraction is a very unexplainable. You ask someone to describe what kind of person they would like to be attracted too and they will tell you physical things. They might say that the person needs to be blond or tall. They might also say that they should have blue eyes or hazel. But is that what being attracted to someone is all about. I don't think that is the case. I think that being attracted to someone whether that person is a boyfriend, girlfriend, or just a friend is more. There has to be a deeper connection for it to be a true connection. Sadly many times we fail to understand that we need to look beyond the skin beyond what we see can we see the beauty before us. That is what we can truly love and care. That is a true attraction or connection.

What is beauty?

I get asked numerous times if I am good looking or not. I find that to be a interesting question in that what I find to be beautiful or good looking is not necessarily what the next person would find beautiful. Beauty is one of those things that can only be defined by the individual. While we many be able to agree on some general characteristics of beauty we will not agree on the same definition of beauty. What is also interesting is that what we consider beautiful can also be changed or enhanced many times to alter the true beauty of an object or person. Look at how many shows there are for Cosmetic Surgery. Is it necessary? Why are we so fixated on superficial beauty? Why do we have to try to conform with someone else s idea of beauty? Be grateful for the beauty you see and don't let others tell you differently.

I was put on earth as I am

"I was put on this earth as I am. 

I was born with my own special blessings.  

I will let them shine and not give a dam.  

I was put on this earth as I am."

I head these lyrics from a a recent movie I watch.  It is an amazing song.  It reminded me of an experience I had in college.  There was this man and woman who would appear in the spring on campus.  They would come on campus to preach at students as we came and went to class.  We had a nick name for him but I won't mention it here.  Well let just call him Preacher Pete.  

Preacher Pete would stand on a bench and yeah at male students saying they were whore mongers.  To the female students he would call them whores.  If one of us walked by wearing our Greek letters he would say we were living in orgy filled house.  Needless to say no one took him serious or gave him attention.  It only got women to flash him and others to flip him off.

Okay so what am I getting at in telling you this story.  These words of the song at the beginning reminded me of how Preacher Pete made judgments of our lives without knowing anything about our lives.  He made judgments about our fraternities and sororities.  He was making judgments about whether or not we having sex. He did try to find out anything just accused us.

I still see that around in the world.  How many times do we see those television preachers say things about other people's lives without knowing them.  They make snap judgments about things they don't know anything about.  I remember reading a story about a preacher burning Harry Potter books because they were not good.  When asked what about the books he did not like he stated he had not read them.  I read that and wondered how can he condemn something he knows nothing about. 

There are people who condemn someone's personal life but they don't know what really is going on.  I know in my own life I have had people assume things about my personal life that were no where near true.  Had they been true man I would have amazing things to write about and I would be busy all the time. 

So I guess I am wondering why can't people realize that judging others doesn't help anyone?

Winston Churchill

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. 

-- Winston Churchill --

Someone once asked me what I wanted to be remember for?  I thought and thought about it and finally said that I want to be remembered for the good I have done in the world.  Not that is not to say that would want some huge funeral when person after person gets up and talks about how wonderful I was.  Now that would be great but does that really measure a man.  Think about it when you think about someone great you talk about what they did that was good.  How much they changed people's lives for the good.

I get involved in a lot of different organizations in the community.  I don't do it so that I can get a pat on the back but to make a difference in a positive way in the world.  I may never know how I have done so as it may take time to effect but I would like to think that what I do makes a difference.  I don't know if you have ever seen the movie pass it on.  That the someone does something good for a person and the recipient then does good and on and on.  I do believe that our job in this world is continue the cycle.  

Do people think?

I like to watch people when I am out and about.  One of the places where I get a chuckle from time to time is the gym.  I sometimes ask myself why would you dress like that.  Okay so maybe it is not the circus but still how people dress when the workout says something about them I think. 

I sometimes see people who are dressed in jeans and work boots and t-shirt and working out.  It is like they are at work.  Maybe they are but it would seem to me uncomfortable.  Then there are those who show up in the gym in workout shorts and t-shirt and gold chains, watches, and rings.  It is like they were out on the town.  Then there are those who show up in the matching shirt, shorts, and shoes.  There are the ones who show up in ripped shirts showing off worked out bodies.

All of these are examples of what can be found in the gym on a regular bases.  The question is why would do people wear what they wear to the gym?  For some the gym is a place to be seen.  You can see that when you watch people "working out" and talking on cell phones or carrying on lengthy conversations. 

Now this is just one place where I have observed people's behaviors.  I think that for many people whether consciously or unconsciously they sometimes forget what they are doing.  We continue to be busy people and we sometimes keep doing things without realizing what we are doing.  Think about those people who are talking on their phones and having conversations that we really don't need to be a part of. 

So bottom line what were those people thinking?

What a rip off

I went to the movies a couple of days ago.  I like the movie but I was annoyed with the theater snack bar.  I got a bottle of water.  Now that is not a big surprised but I was annoyed by the price.  I paid $2.25 for a small bottle of water.  After the movies I went to the store down the road to get something and they had the same size bottle for $1.50 at that store.  Today I had to go to Family Dollar Store and the same bottle of water was $1.29.

Okay now I can't see why the prices have to be so varied.  I would imagine the purchase price for the stores and theater was I would bet even cheaper.  Things should be more standard in their pricing.  This is just one example I have seen of where prices are so varied.  If there was more standardized pricing then people could save a lot more money. 

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Lazy People

I know this is going to be a little bit of bitching.  There was a woman next me in the parking lot take the shopping cart and almost push into the other car.  The place to put the shopping carts was two spaces down.  It is amazing when you go by Walmart or a grocery store and shopping carts are everywhere.   A lot of them just steps from the storage place in the parking lot.  I have even seen those area empty of carts.  So it makes me wonder why people are so lazy to walk a few steps to place the carts away. 

It seems that as society progress more and more that people become more lazy.  It is a wonder that so many people are overweight.  People choose to take the easy way out when it comes to do things.  We want things done quickly and fast.  Instant food and instant everything.  The thing is that the good things in life are not the quick things.  An amazing meal takes some time to cook with all fresh items not things from the boxes.  Works of art take time to create.  Those are I know extreme from the shopping carts.  The point is that it is time for things to slow down and we need to take a little more time to do things and make our lives better.

Are you Masculine?

I know it has been a while since I post something.  I have been having writers block.  Well till today.  I get Netflicks all the time.  I sometimes will get on and add things to my list and forget what I was thinking when I add them.  Well I got one yesterday and throw it in the DVD player tonight.  The DVD is called The Butch Factor.

I would first off say if you have not seen it check it out it is interesting.  The point of the documentary is what is masculine in the gay culture.  I know for me I sometimes wonder when I see posting on the different websites.  How many times have you seen or heard someone say they want "straight acting" men.  First I personally would say that a gay man who says he wants a straight acting man means he would like a man who chases women and wants to play with female anatomy. Wants to be around men only as a buddy.  Okay I know I am pushing it but I think you get the point.  The reality they are asking for is a man who is masculine.  Why they can't say it in those words I don't know. 

Getting back to my point about this documentary was what is masculinity?  I think that for both straight and gay men this question is one that we all struggle with.  Men who are straight want to be as masculine as possible so that people don't see them as gay.  For some gay men they want to be masculine or butch so that they won't have to deal with prejudices of the culture in some places.  The reality is that there is no clear cut definition of what is masculine.  There are features of a masculine man that we might agree on but probably not. 

I mean for some back in the 50's or 60's was the Marlboro Man who was on the back of a horse and the rough and tough guy.  I don't know if I could agree with that one.  For some masculine is the big football player big sports nut.  Well I know some gay guys who are more sports nuts than me.  They have also played in high school or college.  For some masculine is the guy who doesn't cry when some thing sad or hurts.  They suck it up and that is a man.  Well denying your feelings does not make you anymore of a man than it does not.

So what is the answer to the question of what makes a man masculine?  Well I think it is as elusive as trying to define beauty or love.  Beauty for me is different from yours.  Same with the idea of love.  The spectrum of masculinity is wide and broad.  I think it is more important that we allow the differences to be there and accepted.  To realize that each man in the world is different and unique.  To remember that each of us views and defines masculine differently.  No one is right and no one is wrong.  Each man is masculine in his own way.

I know who you are

I had a rather interesting experience today.  I met someone for the first time.  When I met the person they wrote me off right away.  When I asked why they were so quick to discard me they said they knew all about me.  I was taken a back of course since I had no idea who this person was.

They went on to say I was a number of things including rude.  All of which were far from who I am as a person who how I would treat people.  They would not tell me who had informed them of this nor why they believed it without getting to know me.  Now whether or not this person was the kind of person I would be friend with is irrelevant to me.

It made me think if I had ever choose not to talk to someone or give someone the time of day by what I had heard.  I believe I have not.  If I have I am sorry to those people but as far as I can remember I have not.  Now I have in the past allowed acquaintances to drift away because they were not healthy for me.  But I do believe that everyone has something to teach me and that someday I might need that person for something.  I am not one to quickly burn bridges for kick someone to the curb.  But to make snap decisions on another person I don't know is not right either.  Yes we all make them and I have also but generally the snap decisions I make are superficial meaning which drink I have will not have a long lasting effect on another individual.

It is to bad that this person can't have a mind of his own and learn to find out the truth before writing people off.

I'm afraid

For many people fear keeps them from doing things in their life.  So some they are afraid of heights (Acrophobia).  For some they are afraid of  spiders (Arachnophobia).  Others are afraid of being dirty (Automysophobia).  Well I can go on an on about different fears we can have.  But for some it is just feat that keeps them from being who they are.

For some they are fearful of failing in their job so they take the safe way out.  The don't try anything but the minimum that is expected from them and they stay in the same job year after year and don't grow in their career. I have know people who are not happy with their job and they complain but they choose to not do anything about our of fear of change and the unknown.

I will be honest in the past I have been fearful of different things.  Asks some of my friends and they will tell you that when it comes to going up to someone in the bar or club I have a fear.  I am honest about it in that I am fearful when it comes to doing that.  I have my reasons and if you really want to know what they are you can contact me directly and I will see about tell you about it.  But one of the side effects of being afraid of going up to someone in the club or bar is that I miss out on possibilities.   

Now to say I have a fear is not enough.  I list a few fears earlier well to get over them you have to confront the fear.  Now to do that means becoming more than who you are at this moment in time.  Yes I know I need to be telling myself the same thing.  But the point is that I become aware of what needs to be done.  I also make a change.  I see it as a growth issue.  I can stay afraid and be who I am at this moment or I can become a new and improved person. 


So what fears do you have that you need to get over?

The Gap

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about relationships and age differences.  I have several friends who are in relationships where there a significant age difference.  The relationships are working well.  Yet I know that that for some it has not worked. 

Seems to me that standards tend to be different with age differences when it comes to gender and whether it is gay or straight relationships.  Look at society and what people think when there is an older woman and a younger man.  They call her a cougar and it is seen as a positive thing.  That for the younger man he is being taught.  Most don't see it as a big deal.  When it comes to an older man and a younger woman they see it as the man is a stud.  They see him as being amazing that he could attract someone younger than him.  They see him as the great playboy founder as a lady's man.  

Now when it comes to a relationship with two woman no one looks twice when there is an age difference between them.  They are seen as normal for lesbian relationships.  People tend to not see any issue with it.  But when it comes to two men in a relationship may see it as wrong for an older man to be with a younger guy in a relationship.  Mostly I think it is because people are less accepting of this kind of relationship in society that of two men.  There tends to be more acceptance of two women. 

So what is the thought on relationships with age differences?  Well I don't think that they are an issue.  While those I am familiar with the older person has had to deal with more prejudice that the younger the prejudice is the same.  People outside the relationship are less accepting than the people in the relationship.  While some say age is just a number and I would agree with that statement the truth is that for some age is an issue. 

To those who are in a relationship with an significant age difference good for you.  Just be happy and remember the most important person who needs to be happy with that relationship has to be the two of you.  Relationships are hard and why let others outside of them put pressures that you don't need. 

Oh sweet memories

Okay today the blog may be more personal that thought provoking.  I am an alumnus of a social fraternity.  I was active as an alumnus for a while and since have not really done much with the fraternity.  I do love the fraternity for what it stand and its philosophy has guided my life in different ways.

Recently I started a group on facebook for those who are alumni of the particular chapter of my fraternity.  I have posted a few pictures and have encouraged others to post some of the pictures they have.  It has been fun to go back and look through all the pictures I have of my time as an undergraduate.  I have not begun to wonder what has happened to some of the guys.  A few have found their way to the group I have establish and some have disappeared.  Some have become successful in their given carrers and others have gone after their passions. 

Some one has once said that persons come into our lives forever or for a season.  I guess my question is why do people come into our lives just for season.  I mean some of these guys I was in the fraternity with were important to me we partied together and we suffered with classes. Now I have no idea what they are doing.  What moved them from being important to a class of not being so?   Why did we drift away from each other?  I have often wondered why important relationships can change so much? 

Well it has been nice to go down memory lane and possible get to reconnect with people who helped mold me into the person I have become thus far.

I now pronounce you...

I was surfing through Youtube and saw one made by a young man in NY about DC allowing gay marriage.  He made an interesting comment.  That why should his love be limited to where he should live.  DC is one of only a few places in the country where gay marriage is accepted.  There are others that have a weaker element, that of domestic partnership or something like it.  I keep hear churches saying that marriage is a part of religion and that it was what God created. 

Well for those who say this they need to go back to study history.  Marriage in the beginning was a civil contract between two men over property (a woman or women).  Religion was never part of the contract the issue was how much the man was going to pay.  Even all the customs that surround marriage come from this custom.  For example the covering of the bride with a veil was to hide her looks since it was an arranged marriage.  The groom lifting the veil after the exchange of the vows was so he could see what he got in the deal.  Throwing rice was an ancient pagan fertility ritual.  Now I could go on and on about all the stupid customs.

The issue comes back to gay marriage and what it is about.  The reality is that gay marriage has to do with rights of committed couples.  Whether it be a straight couple or a gay couple it is the rights to makes some important decisions about their partner.  It is the issue of property and not a human being.  It is an issue of taxation.  There are more but the point is that religion has nothing to do with gay marriage. 

As for those idiots who say gay marriage is the entry into marriage with animals etc.  Get a brain transplant and get some common sense.  Your argument is a dumb one and makes no sense.  For those religious people who expect gay marriage to force them to accept it in your church.  If you are that unwelcoming I for one would not want to be a part of your church.

You're to old

Recently I was told by someone that people my age and older should not be on facebook, myspace, twitter, and other social network places or chats.  That they are only for young people and that is it.  At first I wanted to rip a new one for the person who said it.  Then I calmed down and figured that one day karma will come around.

So this got me thinking.  Why would anyone want to make a rule or think there should be a rule that once you get to a certain age that should be it with certain activities. What this says is that those who are older have no value in society.  I would disagree with that.  I am lucky to still have one of my grandparents left and had all of them growing up.  I can't even begin to relay all that I was able to learn from them.  I have also learned a lot from others of their generation as well.  I would say the same thing with my parents generation.  I would say I am lucky in that I am engage in conversation with just about anyone.  I have never set limits on who I would interact with or become friends with.  I would be a far poorer person I think if I had limited who I have gotten to know.

Now that is not to say I am not careful with who I talk to or what I share with others.  But I still look to learn more in the world and others have something to teach me.  I also hope I have something to teach others.  I think the saddest thing in the world is that person who limits who they interact with.  I know there are people who live in a bubble and hold the world at a distance.  Sad for them they could really be enriched. 

Gossip is...

Gossip is the lowest form of discourse.

I am not sure if got this quote correct or not.  I heard it in a movie last night.  I thought it was an comment to make.  If you look at the checkout counter at the grocery store or view online there are lots of gossip outlets.  Not to mention the tv shows that are on about gossip.  It seems like everywhere is gossip in the world.  

Why is it that we want to hear gossip?  Generally gossip has half truths and inaccurate.  For some people gossip becomes their way of life.  Look at Prez Hilton on he only likes to speak about gossip.  How many times has gossip hurt other people.  I remember seeing a movie a while back called Gossip and the just of the movie is that gossip can get out of hand and have a life of its own.  Once we begin to pass gossip on to another person it is no longer under our control what happens.  How many times have you heard something about someone at work and then what you thought was true was not.  How long did it take to correct the misunderstandings and hurtful reactions.

I guess the bottom line for me is that why involve ourselves in gossip?

Money makes the World go round or maybe not

Now don't get me wrong money is a good thing.  I like money especially when it comes to paying bills and buying nice dinners etc.  But it can also change us in ways that are not so good.  Recently I was speaking to someone and they were told by their superiors to make money.  The wanted to the employees to work and yet they failed support the employees.

Now for a company to succeed it needs to make money.  But what if making money does damage to the greatest resource is it really worth it.  The greatest resource is the employees.  How a business treats its employees says a lot about what the heart and soul of that business is.  Look at Enron where many good employees were left high and dry.  There are other companies out there with the same kind of track record.

Now I know the answer from some would be that is the way business operates.  Okay but not all successful businesses operate.  Some businesses that operate with concern for their employees can be very successful because the employees work to make where they jobs better and they get fulfillment out of what they are doing.  Happy employees means that they will want to do their jobs and be successful. 

Change is coming

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.

Ellen Glasgow

I have gone through a lot of change in my life.  I have changed where I live numerous times.  I would have to make a list to figure how many times I have moved for school or work.  With each move there is change.  You must adjust to new sounds in a living quarters.  I have changed jobs several times and with each new job comes new things to learn and new people to have to deal with.  I have change from single to in a relationship.  So change has happened in my life numerous times.  In the future there will be more change I am sure.

What we forget is that when we go through change we could grow or we could remain the way we are. I think what we need to take into account is how much change we are required to do and in what span of time we must do it.  I have had to do a lot of change in terms of work in short period of time and it took some adjustment.  Can I say I grew out of it?  I don't know I think the amount of growth was small.  I have found the more change we have to go through the less growth occurs.  

Now there are those out there who love to change in their lives.  They feel lost unless there is change happening all the time.  I think you will find those people to be the once who are always changing jobs or places to live.  For them change is a way of life.  Now that is not the majority of us in this world.  For the rest of us changes occur in our lives and we adapt and then down the road another change will occur. 

The biggest place that change occurs is in our work life.  This is especially true in the present economy.  Companies are downsizing and they are readjusting.  The sad thing about this kind of change few of those making those changes bother to see or understand how that changes effects those who will have to deal on the front lines of that change.  Sadly some of the most stressful change that occurs is when those decisions are made from on high and those of us on the front lines have to deal with the issues.

 

Decisions we do

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”

I found this quote and loved what it had to say.  It reminds me of those who are not flexible when making decisions that are important in their lives.  Now I am not saying that we need to just make a decision without taking things into account.  Flexibility in terms of decisions is to remember that there are very few clearly right or wrong answers in the world.   

Take for example when we choose a mate.  I have never known anyone to say that the person they have chosen to live with forever is exactly the person they imagined they would be.  If they were that perfect person there would never be a disagreement with them.  I am not saying all couples need to argue but if they were completely perfect they would be no disagreements.  Most people would say that the person they are committed to is perfect as a person and that they are good in so may ways.  When a person becomes flexible in their approach to find that true love they find that love and their decsion will be the right one.

You can apply this also to work life.  How many times have people changed jobs?  Flexibility in ones work life is almost always a requirement.  How often does a supervisor or boss come in and say get this done and this is when you have to have it done.  Unless you can be flexible it could be an issue with your continued employment with that company.  Okay you may say well that is a given.  Right but we are talking about a goal in our work that we want to achieve.  Flexibility in achieving that goal helps to to be who we want to become and where we want to go.  

Now this may be a simple thing to say but look at those who don't live that way. How many people do we work for who always feel they have to be right.  How many have significant others who always feel they are right and not flexible?  Life is to to short to not be flexible.  

The lose of life

I have been watching the news stories in the local paper of the death of a young man last month.  He was traveling from San Antonio to California.  He was moving there a very talented musician the paper says.  He had lots of hopes and dreams for his life.  He stopped at a rest area just over the New Mexico border to sleep a little before he continued his drive.  While he was at the rest stop three young men two underage came up with a rifle to rob him and they shot him 4 times.  They then took his stuff put his body in the trunk took the car out to an arroyo near by and started it on fire.

I like I said I have been following this story.  Not that I am into murders and the like. I am following it because here is a person in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I look at the pictures of the young men now in jail for the crime and ask why?  He didn't have a lot of valuables with him.  What did the really get out of killing a stranger?  I wonder how they would have felt had that been one of their family members?  I have been anger in my life at people for things they had done to me but I could never have killed them for it.  The value of a human life is beyond value.  All human life is valuable.  One of the young men had a birthday while in jail and the family of the victim reminded the paper that their son, brother, friend would not have another birthday.  It reminded me of the words from the family victim in Laramie, Wyoming, Matthew Shepherd.  While the reason both young me were killed was different they were both men with visions and dreams.  Both lives were cut short and those visions and dreams did not come true. 

So I wonder why end a life? 

Love yourself

I was surfing around this evening and ran across a Youtube video of a Tyra Banks show.  It was about a a show about people who hate themselves.  The little bit I watched was about a young man who did not like that he was gay.  Now a lot of times when I see titles like that I was expecting the Jerry Springer type show.  And this one headed that way.

However, it changed a when he began to talk.  He proceed to talk about how he did not like that he was gay and that he would stop being gay by a certain age.  He would find a woman at that point and marry her.  Now he went on to say that he did not like woman's genitals and he was turned on by that.  It kept going and if you really want to know more of the story go look for it. 

What I found sad was that this man did not like himself.  I felt sorry for the guy in that he hatted that part of himself that he was not happy.  I hope that he can some day learn to love himself and accept himself.  If he can't come to terms with himself he will never be happy.

Who inspires you

As I am sitting here I am thinking of those people in my life that have influenced who I have become.  Many times we think that those influences us are always people who influence us positively.  The reality is that those who attempt to influence us in negative ways also change us. 

I know that the first people who come to mind for me are those who changed me positively.  People like my grandfather who taught me the importance of family.  Sometimes I may not always remember it but family is very important to me.  There is my uncle who taught me the love of theater and desire to write.  There is my fraternity brother who taught me the value of being honest of who I am in the world.  The list can keep going but I will not bore you with them.

Then there are those whose influence has a negative impact on our lives.  For me the biggest is someone from my former life who was a superior who was not honest with himself and was less than kind.  In effect trying to hurt my passion for life.  Gladly, once I got away from that situation I was able to keep my passion for life going and realize that I am a value.  There are other examples but I will leave it at that.

Overall I have learned to take the good with the bad and to let the bad good and grow from all my experiences.

Does size matter

I don't know how many of you saw the news today.  A famous director was kicked off a plane because he was to big.  Now I can't say I completely know what it was like to be as big as he is but I do understand since I used to be a heavier than I am now.  I was never told I was to big for a plane flight but I have been told I was to big to date.

I guess my question after hearing what happened today is why does weight have to be the issue.  What about people that are to tall?  Maybe we should not allow tall people into theaters since the could block a view.  Maybe we should say if you are not a certain height and you could not drive. 

There seems to be always be someone or organization that will limit others lives. I am sorry to hear that this happened to this man.  Maybe this will cause some to rethink how the limit people.

What if you knew something

I had an interesting experience this weekend.  I met someone I already know.  I know that is funny but the person actually did not remember meeting me.  I did not tell them I already knew who they were or that I knew a lot more about them than they were sharing.

I have had this experience before but after a few minutes they realized it and we went on.  This time they did not realize it.  I was not sure what to do about it.  I could be up front and say hey you have met me a few times before and embarrass the person.  Or I could ignore the situation and let it go. 

Now I know I may have been in the same situation before.   I mean I could have been in the opposite side of this situation.  I have met a lot of people in my life and I don't remember every person I have ever met but so be it.  It is not because they were not important it just means that for some reason they crossed my path but did not remain there to make a difference.  I was glad this situation occurred this weekend just need to see where it goes.

What is a relationship?

 

What holds relationships together?  A simple question but still a very important question.  I know people who say a relationship is a simple thing to have.  My answer is yeah right.  If someone thinks that relationships are simple don't really know what a relationship is all about.  

I have know people who will quickly jump into a relationship.  They will say I am in love and it is meant to be.  Maybe they are right but they are also the ones who a month later are heart broken because they did not know the person.  They failed to ask the real questions and got to know the person.  Relationships don't start instantly they develop.  I don't think that people realize that.

There are also those who say well I have met my mate and I am done with it.  Reminds me of a joke that goes like this.  

A man and a woman are standing in line to get their marriage license.  The man starts laughing and tells the woman.  It is funny that they make you get a license after the hunting is done.

For some people they think that once they get married they are done when it comes to the relationship.  They think that there is nothing more to have to do.  Well that is where the problems start.  A relationship is a living thing and requires continued work and effort.  As that effort is put in the more the relationship will grow.  Doesn't matter what that relationship is whether friends or love relationship they all require effort.  When we fail to put the effort we lose out on something special. 

Opening Ceremonies

 

I watched the opening ceremonies tonight with awe.  It is amazing what the human spirit can accomplish.  There was a sad event today when a young luge athletic was killed on a practice run.  While many sports have a dangerous aspect to them we sometimes never think about that.  

We think about how awesome a player can hit a ball or make a jump.  I like many appreciate that work that those athletics put in to be the very best they are.  While I think it is great what they do I also think that for some athletics money is more important than playing the game.  How many professional athletics are making more than some families will ever earn in a lifetime.  How many for them it is a business rather than spirit of the sport.

Now I am not saying that professional athletics don't deserve to be paid for what they do but how many millions does one person need?  Are those salaries and other benefits just or just out of hand.  Look at ticket prices that fans have to pay.  How realistic is it for these prices.  

Getting back to the Olympics that I started talking about at the beginning of this blog.  I would love to hear the stories of those athletics who are not professional.  I know that there are many professional athletics there but there a large number who are not and had to sacrifice lots to get there.  Those are the athletics who I get inspired by for they participate for sport and not for the money.

Don't Ask Don't Tell

There has been a lot of things lately in the political world that has me thinking.  The one thing that has me thinking is the recent discussion of doing away with don't ask don't tell.  Now I have friends in the military right now and a couple of godsons as well.  So I am aware to a point about what is going on with the military.

Now what I have found interesting is how John McCain has changed his opinion about doing away with this rule.  He said a while back that he would be all supportive of doing away with it if the military leaders were all for it.  Recently the military leadership said do away with and he has changed his mind.  He thinks it should stay in place.  It is amazing how he can be so two faced in his stance.  Seems like when he wants our votes for president that he will say anything to get them.  Sadly that is what most people in political life do.  They forget that there are people out there whose lives are they are messing with.

I have a friend who is gay and in active duty.  He is out to a lot of those he is working with.  He is still careful as to where he goes and is seen with.  His life would be happier if he could live his life openly and allowed to date who he is attracted to.  Whether you agree with people who are gay or not is not the issue.  The issue is allowing people to be who they are.  For me gay people were born that way and it is not a choice.  And since it is apart of their life then they should be allowed to live their lives.  It would also allow those who are attacked on military bases because of their orientation to feel free to come forward.

Bottom line for me is that it is time for the policy of don't ask don't tell to be done away with.  Let us support all our men and women in the military.