Gossip is...

Gossip is the lowest form of discourse.

I am not sure if got this quote correct or not.  I heard it in a movie last night.  I thought it was an comment to make.  If you look at the checkout counter at the grocery store or view online there are lots of gossip outlets.  Not to mention the tv shows that are on about gossip.  It seems like everywhere is gossip in the world.  

Why is it that we want to hear gossip?  Generally gossip has half truths and inaccurate.  For some people gossip becomes their way of life.  Look at Prez Hilton on he only likes to speak about gossip.  How many times has gossip hurt other people.  I remember seeing a movie a while back called Gossip and the just of the movie is that gossip can get out of hand and have a life of its own.  Once we begin to pass gossip on to another person it is no longer under our control what happens.  How many times have you heard something about someone at work and then what you thought was true was not.  How long did it take to correct the misunderstandings and hurtful reactions.

I guess the bottom line for me is that why involve ourselves in gossip?

Money makes the World go round or maybe not

Now don't get me wrong money is a good thing.  I like money especially when it comes to paying bills and buying nice dinners etc.  But it can also change us in ways that are not so good.  Recently I was speaking to someone and they were told by their superiors to make money.  The wanted to the employees to work and yet they failed support the employees.

Now for a company to succeed it needs to make money.  But what if making money does damage to the greatest resource is it really worth it.  The greatest resource is the employees.  How a business treats its employees says a lot about what the heart and soul of that business is.  Look at Enron where many good employees were left high and dry.  There are other companies out there with the same kind of track record.

Now I know the answer from some would be that is the way business operates.  Okay but not all successful businesses operate.  Some businesses that operate with concern for their employees can be very successful because the employees work to make where they jobs better and they get fulfillment out of what they are doing.  Happy employees means that they will want to do their jobs and be successful. 

Change is coming

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.

Ellen Glasgow

I have gone through a lot of change in my life.  I have changed where I live numerous times.  I would have to make a list to figure how many times I have moved for school or work.  With each move there is change.  You must adjust to new sounds in a living quarters.  I have changed jobs several times and with each new job comes new things to learn and new people to have to deal with.  I have change from single to in a relationship.  So change has happened in my life numerous times.  In the future there will be more change I am sure.

What we forget is that when we go through change we could grow or we could remain the way we are. I think what we need to take into account is how much change we are required to do and in what span of time we must do it.  I have had to do a lot of change in terms of work in short period of time and it took some adjustment.  Can I say I grew out of it?  I don't know I think the amount of growth was small.  I have found the more change we have to go through the less growth occurs.  

Now there are those out there who love to change in their lives.  They feel lost unless there is change happening all the time.  I think you will find those people to be the once who are always changing jobs or places to live.  For them change is a way of life.  Now that is not the majority of us in this world.  For the rest of us changes occur in our lives and we adapt and then down the road another change will occur. 

The biggest place that change occurs is in our work life.  This is especially true in the present economy.  Companies are downsizing and they are readjusting.  The sad thing about this kind of change few of those making those changes bother to see or understand how that changes effects those who will have to deal on the front lines of that change.  Sadly some of the most stressful change that occurs is when those decisions are made from on high and those of us on the front lines have to deal with the issues.

 

Decisions we do

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”

I found this quote and loved what it had to say.  It reminds me of those who are not flexible when making decisions that are important in their lives.  Now I am not saying that we need to just make a decision without taking things into account.  Flexibility in terms of decisions is to remember that there are very few clearly right or wrong answers in the world.   

Take for example when we choose a mate.  I have never known anyone to say that the person they have chosen to live with forever is exactly the person they imagined they would be.  If they were that perfect person there would never be a disagreement with them.  I am not saying all couples need to argue but if they were completely perfect they would be no disagreements.  Most people would say that the person they are committed to is perfect as a person and that they are good in so may ways.  When a person becomes flexible in their approach to find that true love they find that love and their decsion will be the right one.

You can apply this also to work life.  How many times have people changed jobs?  Flexibility in ones work life is almost always a requirement.  How often does a supervisor or boss come in and say get this done and this is when you have to have it done.  Unless you can be flexible it could be an issue with your continued employment with that company.  Okay you may say well that is a given.  Right but we are talking about a goal in our work that we want to achieve.  Flexibility in achieving that goal helps to to be who we want to become and where we want to go.  

Now this may be a simple thing to say but look at those who don't live that way. How many people do we work for who always feel they have to be right.  How many have significant others who always feel they are right and not flexible?  Life is to to short to not be flexible.  

The lose of life

I have been watching the news stories in the local paper of the death of a young man last month.  He was traveling from San Antonio to California.  He was moving there a very talented musician the paper says.  He had lots of hopes and dreams for his life.  He stopped at a rest area just over the New Mexico border to sleep a little before he continued his drive.  While he was at the rest stop three young men two underage came up with a rifle to rob him and they shot him 4 times.  They then took his stuff put his body in the trunk took the car out to an arroyo near by and started it on fire.

I like I said I have been following this story.  Not that I am into murders and the like. I am following it because here is a person in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I look at the pictures of the young men now in jail for the crime and ask why?  He didn't have a lot of valuables with him.  What did the really get out of killing a stranger?  I wonder how they would have felt had that been one of their family members?  I have been anger in my life at people for things they had done to me but I could never have killed them for it.  The value of a human life is beyond value.  All human life is valuable.  One of the young men had a birthday while in jail and the family of the victim reminded the paper that their son, brother, friend would not have another birthday.  It reminded me of the words from the family victim in Laramie, Wyoming, Matthew Shepherd.  While the reason both young me were killed was different they were both men with visions and dreams.  Both lives were cut short and those visions and dreams did not come true. 

So I wonder why end a life? 

Love yourself

I was surfing around this evening and ran across a Youtube video of a Tyra Banks show.  It was about a a show about people who hate themselves.  The little bit I watched was about a young man who did not like that he was gay.  Now a lot of times when I see titles like that I was expecting the Jerry Springer type show.  And this one headed that way.

However, it changed a when he began to talk.  He proceed to talk about how he did not like that he was gay and that he would stop being gay by a certain age.  He would find a woman at that point and marry her.  Now he went on to say that he did not like woman's genitals and he was turned on by that.  It kept going and if you really want to know more of the story go look for it. 

What I found sad was that this man did not like himself.  I felt sorry for the guy in that he hatted that part of himself that he was not happy.  I hope that he can some day learn to love himself and accept himself.  If he can't come to terms with himself he will never be happy.

Who inspires you

As I am sitting here I am thinking of those people in my life that have influenced who I have become.  Many times we think that those influences us are always people who influence us positively.  The reality is that those who attempt to influence us in negative ways also change us. 

I know that the first people who come to mind for me are those who changed me positively.  People like my grandfather who taught me the importance of family.  Sometimes I may not always remember it but family is very important to me.  There is my uncle who taught me the love of theater and desire to write.  There is my fraternity brother who taught me the value of being honest of who I am in the world.  The list can keep going but I will not bore you with them.

Then there are those whose influence has a negative impact on our lives.  For me the biggest is someone from my former life who was a superior who was not honest with himself and was less than kind.  In effect trying to hurt my passion for life.  Gladly, once I got away from that situation I was able to keep my passion for life going and realize that I am a value.  There are other examples but I will leave it at that.

Overall I have learned to take the good with the bad and to let the bad good and grow from all my experiences.