Gossip is...

Gossip is the lowest form of discourse.

I am not sure if got this quote correct or not.  I heard it in a movie last night.  I thought it was an comment to make.  If you look at the checkout counter at the grocery store or view online there are lots of gossip outlets.  Not to mention the tv shows that are on about gossip.  It seems like everywhere is gossip in the world.  

Why is it that we want to hear gossip?  Generally gossip has half truths and inaccurate.  For some people gossip becomes their way of life.  Look at Prez Hilton on he only likes to speak about gossip.  How many times has gossip hurt other people.  I remember seeing a movie a while back called Gossip and the just of the movie is that gossip can get out of hand and have a life of its own.  Once we begin to pass gossip on to another person it is no longer under our control what happens.  How many times have you heard something about someone at work and then what you thought was true was not.  How long did it take to correct the misunderstandings and hurtful reactions.

I guess the bottom line for me is that why involve ourselves in gossip?

Money makes the World go round or maybe not

Now don't get me wrong money is a good thing.  I like money especially when it comes to paying bills and buying nice dinners etc.  But it can also change us in ways that are not so good.  Recently I was speaking to someone and they were told by their superiors to make money.  The wanted to the employees to work and yet they failed support the employees.

Now for a company to succeed it needs to make money.  But what if making money does damage to the greatest resource is it really worth it.  The greatest resource is the employees.  How a business treats its employees says a lot about what the heart and soul of that business is.  Look at Enron where many good employees were left high and dry.  There are other companies out there with the same kind of track record.

Now I know the answer from some would be that is the way business operates.  Okay but not all successful businesses operate.  Some businesses that operate with concern for their employees can be very successful because the employees work to make where they jobs better and they get fulfillment out of what they are doing.  Happy employees means that they will want to do their jobs and be successful. 

Change is coming

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.

Ellen Glasgow

I have gone through a lot of change in my life.  I have changed where I live numerous times.  I would have to make a list to figure how many times I have moved for school or work.  With each move there is change.  You must adjust to new sounds in a living quarters.  I have changed jobs several times and with each new job comes new things to learn and new people to have to deal with.  I have change from single to in a relationship.  So change has happened in my life numerous times.  In the future there will be more change I am sure.

What we forget is that when we go through change we could grow or we could remain the way we are. I think what we need to take into account is how much change we are required to do and in what span of time we must do it.  I have had to do a lot of change in terms of work in short period of time and it took some adjustment.  Can I say I grew out of it?  I don't know I think the amount of growth was small.  I have found the more change we have to go through the less growth occurs.  

Now there are those out there who love to change in their lives.  They feel lost unless there is change happening all the time.  I think you will find those people to be the once who are always changing jobs or places to live.  For them change is a way of life.  Now that is not the majority of us in this world.  For the rest of us changes occur in our lives and we adapt and then down the road another change will occur. 

The biggest place that change occurs is in our work life.  This is especially true in the present economy.  Companies are downsizing and they are readjusting.  The sad thing about this kind of change few of those making those changes bother to see or understand how that changes effects those who will have to deal on the front lines of that change.  Sadly some of the most stressful change that occurs is when those decisions are made from on high and those of us on the front lines have to deal with the issues.

 

Decisions we do

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”

I found this quote and loved what it had to say.  It reminds me of those who are not flexible when making decisions that are important in their lives.  Now I am not saying that we need to just make a decision without taking things into account.  Flexibility in terms of decisions is to remember that there are very few clearly right or wrong answers in the world.   

Take for example when we choose a mate.  I have never known anyone to say that the person they have chosen to live with forever is exactly the person they imagined they would be.  If they were that perfect person there would never be a disagreement with them.  I am not saying all couples need to argue but if they were completely perfect they would be no disagreements.  Most people would say that the person they are committed to is perfect as a person and that they are good in so may ways.  When a person becomes flexible in their approach to find that true love they find that love and their decsion will be the right one.

You can apply this also to work life.  How many times have people changed jobs?  Flexibility in ones work life is almost always a requirement.  How often does a supervisor or boss come in and say get this done and this is when you have to have it done.  Unless you can be flexible it could be an issue with your continued employment with that company.  Okay you may say well that is a given.  Right but we are talking about a goal in our work that we want to achieve.  Flexibility in achieving that goal helps to to be who we want to become and where we want to go.  

Now this may be a simple thing to say but look at those who don't live that way. How many people do we work for who always feel they have to be right.  How many have significant others who always feel they are right and not flexible?  Life is to to short to not be flexible.  

The lose of life

I have been watching the news stories in the local paper of the death of a young man last month.  He was traveling from San Antonio to California.  He was moving there a very talented musician the paper says.  He had lots of hopes and dreams for his life.  He stopped at a rest area just over the New Mexico border to sleep a little before he continued his drive.  While he was at the rest stop three young men two underage came up with a rifle to rob him and they shot him 4 times.  They then took his stuff put his body in the trunk took the car out to an arroyo near by and started it on fire.

I like I said I have been following this story.  Not that I am into murders and the like. I am following it because here is a person in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I look at the pictures of the young men now in jail for the crime and ask why?  He didn't have a lot of valuables with him.  What did the really get out of killing a stranger?  I wonder how they would have felt had that been one of their family members?  I have been anger in my life at people for things they had done to me but I could never have killed them for it.  The value of a human life is beyond value.  All human life is valuable.  One of the young men had a birthday while in jail and the family of the victim reminded the paper that their son, brother, friend would not have another birthday.  It reminded me of the words from the family victim in Laramie, Wyoming, Matthew Shepherd.  While the reason both young me were killed was different they were both men with visions and dreams.  Both lives were cut short and those visions and dreams did not come true. 

So I wonder why end a life? 

Love yourself

I was surfing around this evening and ran across a Youtube video of a Tyra Banks show.  It was about a a show about people who hate themselves.  The little bit I watched was about a young man who did not like that he was gay.  Now a lot of times when I see titles like that I was expecting the Jerry Springer type show.  And this one headed that way.

However, it changed a when he began to talk.  He proceed to talk about how he did not like that he was gay and that he would stop being gay by a certain age.  He would find a woman at that point and marry her.  Now he went on to say that he did not like woman's genitals and he was turned on by that.  It kept going and if you really want to know more of the story go look for it. 

What I found sad was that this man did not like himself.  I felt sorry for the guy in that he hatted that part of himself that he was not happy.  I hope that he can some day learn to love himself and accept himself.  If he can't come to terms with himself he will never be happy.

Who inspires you

As I am sitting here I am thinking of those people in my life that have influenced who I have become.  Many times we think that those influences us are always people who influence us positively.  The reality is that those who attempt to influence us in negative ways also change us. 

I know that the first people who come to mind for me are those who changed me positively.  People like my grandfather who taught me the importance of family.  Sometimes I may not always remember it but family is very important to me.  There is my uncle who taught me the love of theater and desire to write.  There is my fraternity brother who taught me the value of being honest of who I am in the world.  The list can keep going but I will not bore you with them.

Then there are those whose influence has a negative impact on our lives.  For me the biggest is someone from my former life who was a superior who was not honest with himself and was less than kind.  In effect trying to hurt my passion for life.  Gladly, once I got away from that situation I was able to keep my passion for life going and realize that I am a value.  There are other examples but I will leave it at that.

Overall I have learned to take the good with the bad and to let the bad good and grow from all my experiences.

Does size matter

I don't know how many of you saw the news today.  A famous director was kicked off a plane because he was to big.  Now I can't say I completely know what it was like to be as big as he is but I do understand since I used to be a heavier than I am now.  I was never told I was to big for a plane flight but I have been told I was to big to date.

I guess my question after hearing what happened today is why does weight have to be the issue.  What about people that are to tall?  Maybe we should not allow tall people into theaters since the could block a view.  Maybe we should say if you are not a certain height and you could not drive. 

There seems to be always be someone or organization that will limit others lives. I am sorry to hear that this happened to this man.  Maybe this will cause some to rethink how the limit people.

What if you knew something

I had an interesting experience this weekend.  I met someone I already know.  I know that is funny but the person actually did not remember meeting me.  I did not tell them I already knew who they were or that I knew a lot more about them than they were sharing.

I have had this experience before but after a few minutes they realized it and we went on.  This time they did not realize it.  I was not sure what to do about it.  I could be up front and say hey you have met me a few times before and embarrass the person.  Or I could ignore the situation and let it go. 

Now I know I may have been in the same situation before.   I mean I could have been in the opposite side of this situation.  I have met a lot of people in my life and I don't remember every person I have ever met but so be it.  It is not because they were not important it just means that for some reason they crossed my path but did not remain there to make a difference.  I was glad this situation occurred this weekend just need to see where it goes.

What is a relationship?

 

What holds relationships together?  A simple question but still a very important question.  I know people who say a relationship is a simple thing to have.  My answer is yeah right.  If someone thinks that relationships are simple don't really know what a relationship is all about.  

I have know people who will quickly jump into a relationship.  They will say I am in love and it is meant to be.  Maybe they are right but they are also the ones who a month later are heart broken because they did not know the person.  They failed to ask the real questions and got to know the person.  Relationships don't start instantly they develop.  I don't think that people realize that.

There are also those who say well I have met my mate and I am done with it.  Reminds me of a joke that goes like this.  

A man and a woman are standing in line to get their marriage license.  The man starts laughing and tells the woman.  It is funny that they make you get a license after the hunting is done.

For some people they think that once they get married they are done when it comes to the relationship.  They think that there is nothing more to have to do.  Well that is where the problems start.  A relationship is a living thing and requires continued work and effort.  As that effort is put in the more the relationship will grow.  Doesn't matter what that relationship is whether friends or love relationship they all require effort.  When we fail to put the effort we lose out on something special. 

Opening Ceremonies

 

I watched the opening ceremonies tonight with awe.  It is amazing what the human spirit can accomplish.  There was a sad event today when a young luge athletic was killed on a practice run.  While many sports have a dangerous aspect to them we sometimes never think about that.  

We think about how awesome a player can hit a ball or make a jump.  I like many appreciate that work that those athletics put in to be the very best they are.  While I think it is great what they do I also think that for some athletics money is more important than playing the game.  How many professional athletics are making more than some families will ever earn in a lifetime.  How many for them it is a business rather than spirit of the sport.

Now I am not saying that professional athletics don't deserve to be paid for what they do but how many millions does one person need?  Are those salaries and other benefits just or just out of hand.  Look at ticket prices that fans have to pay.  How realistic is it for these prices.  

Getting back to the Olympics that I started talking about at the beginning of this blog.  I would love to hear the stories of those athletics who are not professional.  I know that there are many professional athletics there but there a large number who are not and had to sacrifice lots to get there.  Those are the athletics who I get inspired by for they participate for sport and not for the money.

Don't Ask Don't Tell

There has been a lot of things lately in the political world that has me thinking.  The one thing that has me thinking is the recent discussion of doing away with don't ask don't tell.  Now I have friends in the military right now and a couple of godsons as well.  So I am aware to a point about what is going on with the military.

Now what I have found interesting is how John McCain has changed his opinion about doing away with this rule.  He said a while back that he would be all supportive of doing away with it if the military leaders were all for it.  Recently the military leadership said do away with and he has changed his mind.  He thinks it should stay in place.  It is amazing how he can be so two faced in his stance.  Seems like when he wants our votes for president that he will say anything to get them.  Sadly that is what most people in political life do.  They forget that there are people out there whose lives are they are messing with.

I have a friend who is gay and in active duty.  He is out to a lot of those he is working with.  He is still careful as to where he goes and is seen with.  His life would be happier if he could live his life openly and allowed to date who he is attracted to.  Whether you agree with people who are gay or not is not the issue.  The issue is allowing people to be who they are.  For me gay people were born that way and it is not a choice.  And since it is apart of their life then they should be allowed to live their lives.  It would also allow those who are attacked on military bases because of their orientation to feel free to come forward.

Bottom line for me is that it is time for the policy of don't ask don't tell to be done away with.  Let us support all our men and women in the military.

What is Valentine Day

 

Well I know that a week from tomorrow is Valentines Day.  Every year when this time comes around I find myself asking the same question.   Why am I alone?  Lol I know everyone will have an answer for that question.  

Some say I am way to picky when it comes to dating.  Well maybe that is so but who besides me knows if I am being to picky.  Is it right to just settle for whoever so we are not alone?  I say no we need to be selective in who we choose to date.  It may sound mean or stuck up but it is the truth.  I have a certain list in my mind that I check off when I meet someone.  Granted I don't expect them to fulfill all the list but there is a breaking point for all of us.  Now you might be saying your an idiot about now.  Well so be it but I know what makes me happy and what I find attractive.

That is another thing.  Attraction!  I have been asked numerous times if I am attractive.  My answer will always be yes.  Now that is not to say I have the perfect body or perfect personality.  But if you are asking me if I am attractive a yes will always be the answer.  Based on my personal definition I am attractive.  What people forget is that beauty/handsome/attractive are subjective.  Meaning my definition of those concepts will be different from yours.  So if you ask me if I am attractive and I say yes and you look at me and say hell no you are not.  Well that is your definition and mine is different.  So what I am attracted to is my personal preference and only I can change that for me.  

Okay so what is the bottom line on this whole blog today.  I am alone because the perfect person for me has not crossed my path.  I know that at some point someone will cross my path and I will be happy beyond imagination.  When and where that will well that is another thing.  I have been told stop looking and it will happen.  I have been told throw yourself out there and you will snag the right person.  I have been told that the right person will find.  I have been told go looking. So what is the answer?  Who knows it is different for each person I believe on how they meet their soul-mate.  For me it will be the way I do it.

Okay I started off this blog by talking about Valentines Day.  By now you probably think I am anti Valentines day.  Far from it.  If you have that special someone in your life this Valentines I am happy for you.  Just remember on that day that not all of us have been that lucky yet and cut us a break.

It's My Job

I will have to say that today was the kind of day to end a week with and begin a weekend.  I had someone call me today to see about a job.  It was cool to get the call and to have someone come after me for their job opening.  I am not sure if it will workout but it is a good feeling to know that someone out there likes my work.

I do love my work by the way for those who would ask if I hate my job.  I enjoy what I do and it makes me feel good about myself when I do a good job.  I know that if you have a job that you should enjoy what you do since you spend a lot of time there.  I have met people who hate their job and hate going to work.  I wonder why they keep going to the job?  There is a great song by Jimmy Buffett called "Its my job."  You should listen to it.  I found it on one of his CDs I own.  Basically every job is important and it is the attitude we take to that job that makes us happy and fulfilled. 

When to throw in the towel

I had a rather interesting experience today. I serve on several boards for non profits and community boards.  I give a lot of time and energy to these boards.  Well today I was asked to attend a meeting with the chair of one of those boards and a former board chair.  They wanted to talk to me about personalities on the board.  They began by saying that it was not intended to be a personal attack but they wanted to talk about some comments from a survey monkey that the board filled out.

Okay I am one for hearing feedback to improve myself.  However, when the feedback comes with no real support for what is being said, how valid is the feedback?  I was not showed the results of the survey and I was left with the impression that the goal was to corner each person or just certain persons on the board.  Now I do this as a volunteer and I give my time to the organization because I believe in the organization. I also believe my time is valuable yet when I left this meeting I felt like it was about people not wanting to share their feelings openly.  Now I know maybe some feel they can't do that with me but have they tried or asked to speak to me privately about it.  No it had not been done.

So not at this point I have two options.  I could say enough is a enough and walk away.  I know that is not always the best thing.  I kind of feel like doing that.  The other option is to stick it out keep working on the projects I am doing for the organization and giving my time and waiting for others to maybe change their positions or quit.  I have had some bad experiences in the past and what happened today resurrected some of those feelings.  We learn from our past and the past on those feelings and experiences were not pretty.

 

What to do with the door open?

National Parks

I sat down to watch TV tonight and found a show on the National Parks.  It was cool to see who they came into existence.  I have been to a lot of them and would love to go to more.  I still remember when I went to Yellowstone for the first time.  I went with my grandparents when I was like 13 and went with them and my cousin.  I remember how exciting it was to see the bears and that other animals that would come up to the car.

I know that for some these places are not used enough for their natural resources.  Do we really want to destroy such beautiful places?  How many places in the world have we already destroyed?  I saw on the news tonight that there is a section off the western coast that is filled with trash that is twice the size of the state of Texas.  We are destroying so much of the world and for what?

When will we respect our world and change out actions to make it a better place rather than destroy and use up what we have.

Jury Duty

Well today I had an interesting experience. I had received a jury summons earlier this month. Today I went in for the jury pool. There were about 40 of us. They needed to panel 4 jury s today. Most of the time was spent sitting around chatting with each other. It is amazing how strangers can joke around with each other when thrown together in different situations. I ended up sitting between a lady with a bad back and a man who worked in ER of the hospital.

It was interesting to watch as the judicial system function. There were several who had been called before and knew the system. It is interesting how so many there had served before. Makes me wonder how their system worked that the same people were called.

Well I am going to be on a jury later this month and I was told it would be done in one day. So I will have to see what happens. I will make sure to post afterwords my experience.

Starting things

Well I set up this blog site and I will begin to blog. Will see who responds so what I have to say. I will have to write more tomorrow.